Postsecret.com

So, this is going to be a completely random post, but lately I've been thinking alot about secrets because I'm totally enamored with the site www.postsecret.com. Secrets can be the best thing in the world - or the worst. I guess it just depends on the time and place. When I moved to Moscow, I was 10 years old, miserable, and completely lonely. The thing I wanted MOST in the world was for the cool girls in class to share one of their numerous secrets with me. They were always leaning across our cheap wooden desks with construction paper name tags, and sharing whispered words that brought either laughter or raised eyebrows and knowing looks.
Eventually, I wormed my way into these girls' affections because I had a basement which I transformed into a clubhouse - complete with a meeting table, and private "voting closet" or "conference room." Our friendships were shallow and catty and the back biting between us was vicious (like many teen and pre-teen friendships are) - but they were friends. Secret sharers. And all the hurt and tears they caused over the years always seemed worth it. Those secrets, petty and stupid, gave me a sense of meaning and power. I knew something other people didn't. I was special. I realized recently, secrets haven't made me feel that way in a long time. I think that as we grow - the severity of secrets grow as well. Whispered secrets that once only contained the names and feelings of crushes and puppy love morph into tear soaked secrets of regret, hatred, or abuse. I used to anticipate phonecalls from girlfriends when I was a teenager - expecting the daily drama or occasional juicy dirt about a classmate or someone from church. Now I've learned to brace myself when I hear a friend's voice on the other end of the line say, "I need to tell you something I haven't told anyone else. Promise it will stay between us." Of course, secrets aren't all malicious - the ones that make all the others worth keeping are secrets you know you will eventually be able to share. If we felt we could never have an outlet for secrets, I doubt we'd ever agree to listen to them. But interestingly enough - what changes the least over a span of years - is how often people don't want to carry a secret alone. This is why I was so fascinated when I learned about the site postsecret.com. This site gives people the unique opportunity to share their most intimate (or bizarre) secrets with thousands of people online - with absolute anonymity.

Every Sunday a new batch of secrets, clearly printed on handmade postcards is released to the internet for consumption and comment. Ever since I found out about the site, I've visited it almost every week. The only way I can describe my urge to read all these stranger's secrets is to relate it to the human instinct that compels people to rubberneck when passing a car accident. People are spreading their most personal (and often seriously messed up) lives out for the world to see, and reading the short lines of wreckage that describe their lives is completely fascinating (even though I realize it sounds totally morbid to say it.)
I've also realized that whenever I'm having a really shitty day - or just in a bad mood - my mouse drifts over to "Favorites" and clicks on this site. Besides being interesting and really funny at times, there's nothing like reading about other people's issues to make you feel like you're 1.) not alone or 2.) not nearly as crazy/messed up as you thought you were.
Anyways, there's my random thoughts of the day. Check out postsecret.com if you have time or are bored. (Plus it can be "educational" site as well...who knew there is a real psychological condition where people fantasize about being an amputee??)