Ok- so here's the deal. In general I make an effort to reign myself in when it comes to making generalized comments on men and/or my relationships with them. Nothing is more irritating to me than an overly emotional post by some bleeding heart about how much love and the opposite sex suck. Love is hard, and both men and women use eachother in horrible ways. Whether you are single, or in a relationship, there is always something to gripe about...but I can't sit idley by one more day and not comment on something that I've been hearing a HELL of a lot lately.
"Nice guys always finish last."
Really? Because I don't think so. My friend has a saying that dove tails this one in my mind. On the subject of racism he says, "Why hate someone because of the color of their skin? That's ridiculous. If you got to know them I'm sure you'd find there's a lot more ligitimate reasons to dislike them."
Why would a woman choose to not be with a guy
because he's nice? Once she gets to know him she'll realize there's a lot more legitimate reasons to not be with him than the facts he's "too nice." This phrase is simply a crutch that men and women have come to rely on heavily because they are afraid of being honest about why they are either not in a relationship, or why they don't want to be with someone.
In my opinion, guys like to buy into this phrase for one main reason. Guys that are stereotypical "nice guys" (i.e. respectful, good listeners, sweet, remember birthdays/anniveraries, believe in "love" and committed relationships) like to pride themselves on being "nice guys" and so when a woman turns them down or breaks up with them, they are flabbergasted/ at a loss for why ANY woman would turn down the ultimate catch that is himself. While in this state of butthurt confusion, they always fall back on the conclusion that women only want to be with assholes, and that is why they are not in a relationship. They are simply too good for one.
Call me crazy, but I have never in my life met a single woman who dumped a guy because he treated her "too well." However I've known many women, myself included, who decided they didn't want to be with a nice guy for very legitimate reasons i.e. What the guy thinks is nice is actually lack of a backbone/opinions or straight up the guy doesn't realize his niceness stems from the fact that except for the physical characteristics, he's straight up acting like a girl. (Or the obvious, the guy is actually not a 'nice guy' at all, but is too stuck on his own charm to realize it.)
The point of this rant is this - to all the "nice guys" out there - If a woman doesn't want to date you, GUARANTEED its for some other reason than you're TOO nice, and you should do her the courtesy of taking a moment of self reflection on what your problem is that she is too nice to vocalize, before you accuse her of being an asshole chasing idiot.
Alright. I'm done.
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2 comments:
Esther i agree, but with a clarification. I dont think 'too nice' is what people mean. I think there is a worldwide definition problem on this issue. People think that nice guys are lame and that women want assholes. The idea here is true, but the words are vague ones. The reason all the 'niceguys' are lame, is because they have no confidence, backbone, social ability, or anything of that nature, they just act real nice. so they get thrown into the 'niceguy' category. people just say "niceguy" but that embodies all those things, not just being nice. and the same is for assholes; assholes are usually the confident, cocky, practical world savvy, guy that can talk a cat into taking a swim. just because these guys arent pussies, and are practical confident etc, also can be a little bit of an asshole, they get lumped into the opposite extreme as the nice guys. Like i said i agree with what u said, its just that people need to realize what nice and asshole really mean in this context. The next time a guy says "she dumped me cause im just a nice guy, and she wants an asshole of a guy', you say to him, a nice guy is a weakminded, unconfident pussy, an asshole is confident,practical and smoothe with words. you wouldnt have got dumped if you were a nice "asshole".
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